奔流品诗
<!----><style type="text/css">html{font-size:375%}</style><link href="https://pic.app.shanglushan.com/static/publish/css/style.css?v=1605251010485" rel="stylesheet" position="1" data-qf-origin="/static/publish/css/style.css?v=1605251010485"><div class="preview_article "> <!----> <p>春风</p><p>纨绔谁家子，骄浮下九穹。</p><p>青山游旦暮，碧水逛西东。</p><p>才引蝶蜂醉，又撩桃杏红。</p><p>情多非有意，胡乱挑帘栊。</p><p> </p><p>香汤月色</p><p>竹影夜婆娑，花前褪绮罗。</p><p>泉音清杂念，纤足荡云波。</p><p>旖旎融香暖，朦胧隔雾多。</p><p>凝脂羞月色，辉晕泛微酡。</p><p> </p><p>奔哥简评：</p><p> </p><p>一般说来。首联定调。这个春风。通篇都是围绕着纨绔这词，写其浪荡行为。虽然言语及用词比较简单随意，而未见精致雕琢（但总的来说，诗词不可过分雕琢也不可过分鄙朴，讲究一个清浊参半，才可以雅致而见雕工）。但通篇的主题和情绪还是比较统一完整的。主题的思想还是比较突出。唯一的缺点就是。过多的直白而缺少一些必要的润色。毕竟五言诗。还是要讲究文采的。而且特别讲究炼字工功。。而其二。从花前褪绮罗，水滑凝脂羞月色这两句来看。应该是洗浴图。但是和题目月色。又有什么关系？就因为在月下洗浴？？除了竹影句可见月下景致，还有一个羞月色。提到了一个月的名字。其他皆无月。。假如没有褪绮罗凝脂之句，把其他句子改成描写湖边溪边的月色。那么纤足荡云波，也不乏有巧比见新的巧妙。可惜没有假如。。作者以这一类香艳的题材来博目，看来目的是达到了。但是我以为。一树梨花压海棠这种诗。最多也就是个打油诗。心正则诗正，我是不太喜欢这一类诗词的。另外就是。除了颈联，稍微有一点不太明显的句式变化外。其他句式都有点类似，雷同。所以读来，不免有一些呆板。。。五言。因为其字少，更应该下字谨慎，用词斟酌。推敲叙述。精炼字眼。这样才可以得其风流。</p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" contenteditable="false"><img src="https://pic.app.shanglushan.com/front2_0_FquSPGqIkLzwYV8rQZ_OydhSwdUJ.1616941014.jpg?watermark/3/image/aHR0cDovL3BpYy5hcHAuc2hhbmdsdXNoYW4uY29tL2FkbWluX0ZyeUpxNm1ZVDZaczFFclpPN1A5c1B5SENMdkcucG5n/dissolve/70/gravity/SouthEast/dx/10/dy/65/text/QOilv-Wfn-Wkp-WllOa1gQ==/fontsize/400/dissolve/70/gravity/SouthEast/fill/I2ZmZmZmZg==/font/5b6u6L2v6ZuF6buR/dx/10/dy/35" alt="" width="1280" height="576" data-qf-origin="front2_0_FquSPGqIkLzwYV8rQZ_OydhSwdUJ.1616941014.jpg?watermark/3/image/aHR0cDovL3BpYy5hcHAuc2hhbmdsdXNoYW4uY29tL2FkbWluX0ZyeUpxNm1ZVDZaczFFclpPN1A5c1B5SENMdkcucG5n/dissolve/70/gravity/SouthEast/dx/10/dy/65/text/QOilv-Wfn-Wkp-WllOa1gQ==/fontsize/400/dissolve/70/gravity/SouthEast/fill/I2ZmZmZmZg==/font/5b6u6L2v6ZuF6buR/dx/10/dy/35" /></p><p class="empty_paragraph"> </p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" contenteditable="false"><img src="https://pic.app.shanglushan.com/front2_0_FleRCknOOqVWn-yydOGV8lz9xb4S.1616941014.jpg?watermark/3/image/aHR0cDovL3BpYy5hcHAuc2hhbmdsdXNoYW4uY29tL2FkbWluX0ZyeUpxNm1ZVDZaczFFclpPN1A5c1B5SENMdkcucG5n/dissolve/70/gravity/SouthEast/dx/10/dy/65/text/QOilv-Wfn-Wkp-WllOa1gQ==/fontsize/400/dissolve/70/gravity/SouthEast/fill/I2ZmZmZmZg==/font/5b6u6L2v6ZuF6buR/dx/10/dy/35" alt="" width="720" height="1280" data-qf-origin="front2_0_FleRCknOOqVWn-yydOGV8lz9xb4S.1616941014.jpg?watermark/3/image/aHR0cDovL3BpYy5hcHAuc2hhbmdsdXNoYW4uY29tL2FkbWluX0ZyeUpxNm1ZVDZaczFFclpPN1A5c1B5SENMdkcucG5n/dissolve/70/gravity/SouthEast/dx/10/dy/65/text/QOilv-Wfn-Wkp-WllOa1gQ==/fontsize/400/dissolve/70/gravity/SouthEast/fill/I2ZmZmZmZg==/font/5b6u6L2v6ZuF6buR/dx/10/dy/35" /></p><p class="empty_paragraph"> </p><p class="qf_image big noneditable" contenteditable="false"><img src="https://pic.app.shanglushan.com/front2_0_Fn9suyVQciqqTWS-HdzZzUMkpOad.1616941014.jpg?watermark/3/image/aHR0cDovL3BpYy5hcHAuc2hhbmdsdXNoYW4uY29tL2FkbWluX0ZyeUpxNm1ZVDZaczFFclpPN1A5c1B5SENMdkcucG5n/dissolve/70/gravity/SouthEast/dx/10/dy/65/text/QOilv-Wfn-Wkp-WllOa1gQ==/fontsize/400/dissolve/70/gravity/SouthEast/fill/I2ZmZmZmZg==/font/5b6u6L2v6ZuF6buR/dx/10/dy/35" alt="" width="1280" height="960" data-qf-origin="front2_0_Fn9suyVQciqqTWS-HdzZzUMkpOad.1616941014.jpg?watermark/3/image/aHR0cDovL3BpYy5hcHAuc2hhbmdsdXNoYW4uY29tL2FkbWluX0ZyeUpxNm1ZVDZaczFFclpPN1A5c1B5SENMdkcucG5n/dissolve/70/gravity/SouthEast/dx/10/dy/65/text/QOilv-Wfn-Wkp-WllOa1gQ==/fontsize/400/dissolve/70/gravity/SouthEast/fill/I2ZmZmZmZg==/font/5b6u6L2v6ZuF6buR/dx/10/dy/35" /></p><p> </p> <!----></div> 学习了。背影帅气！大诗人吗
文采好
写的真好呀
写的真好 学习啦 写的真好
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